Second Star to the Right and Straight on 'till Morning

 

image source

 There is an idea circulating out there that unless writing comes easy to you, you're not cut out to be a writer.

This is a MYTH. 

Some published writers who claim they dreampt up their story, who claim the words just flowed out of them and bam! it was publishable, and who delightedly chat with interviewers about the wonder and joy of creating fictionary worlds are grossly misleading the general public about how much WORK goes into writing a novel.And it's easy to feel beat down when you see people, whose books are actually selling, acting like that. Sometimes even though you know it takes work, you wonder if you really have the talent to get there, the skills to make it happen and the drive to succeed. Do you want to know what I think?


I think you do. 

  Hang those dumb authors who've forgotten the long hours they logged behind their computer screens late into the night or early morning. Who've forgotten the sacrifices it takes now they they're well-known. Who would make you feel small for believing in a dream that maybe no one but you can see for yourself.

Now, scratch these authors, sometimes it's hard to believe you have it in you when you see great authors who admit how hard it is to craft a seamless plot and multi-dimensional characters telling it like it is! It can be very discouraging. (I know, I feel it too).

But here's the secret antidote to all that: Don't just believe in the fairy tale of publishing, make the fairy tale happen. To YOU. Take Peter Pan..

Many writers sit waiting in their bedrooms as Wendy fills their head with stories of how great it is to be published...the book signings, the interviews, the fans, the following, the ARCs, the friendships with other authors etc.. And soon you're standing by the window waiting for Peter Pan, that inspirational fellow, to show up with pixie dust and grant the ideas of your book in your head into a manuscript and give you the wings to fly right out the window and into that dream world.

And here's the secret of that. He's not coming. Unless you can capture his shadow and hid it in a drawer, unless you do the work to get the attention you deserve,  it's not going to happen. You may have the happy thoughts, you may be waiting for that fairy dust to pour out upon you but you'll be waiting a long time.

This is what sets apart the published writers from the non.You HAVE to BELIEVE in yourself and that you have the talents, the gifts, the abilities, the drive and the will to succeed no matter what else any one thinks or says. No matter how far away that beautiful Neverland of dreams seems, it is always within reach. Find that inspiration that keeps it in sight and never let go of it. Keep sacrificing. Grow the wings to make yourself fly don't wait for Peter.

Yes, it will be hard. It might be painful. It will be discouraging and you'll have to pour every ounce of faith into yourself even when it seems your straining mud through a sieve to get those words out and the dream seems utterly unattainable.

But you can do it.

There will be times when the missing piece of your storyline falls into place with a click, when a new character shyly slips into your mind like a fresh breath of air, when your fingers wear out from a night's work at the laptop where they just couldn't keep up with your brain. When your heart quietly burns within you because you know absolutely this is what you were meant to do. There will be those times too. And they will spur you on through another drought of pure work until you sail through them again.

But only you can make it happen. I believe in you, do you?

A Trip to Mackinac Island Part II

Sorry I'm getting this up late, I've been hit with a bad cold which is weird, right, since it's the MIDDLE OF SUMMER!?!?!? So instead of boring you with the entire Part II of the trip--I feel like I've got you in my living room showing you slide after slide----I'll just put some highlights. Here is one of the coolest buildings on the island and also more proof of how nerdy I am:

Isn't that color so awesome! I loooove libraries especially unique ones. One of the ones in Las Vegas is orange! But this one takes the cake! Then there was this building right next to it...

 

Dun-dun-da-da-da-duh -daaaaah! Spooky, man! With it's sloping roofs and dark windows and chimneys..it has got to belong to the Mackinac Island witch, in fact, I'm sure of it. Do you think it's coincidence a cute alluring library happens to be nestled right up next to it where a bunch of youngins come to rent books!!? And a voice from the hedge calls to them promising sweets and no bed times and toys, toys, toys! 

(I apologize to whoever lives in this home, I'm sure you're a exemplary citizen but really, you're house is too cool!)

Some real-life Mackinac folk chatting at the docks..

We biked down to the water's edge and it was beautiful. Standing there I felt like I should come up with some sort of prose or deep poetry worthy of Robert Frost but alas my brain was on vacation so I just took pictures.

 We went up to this natural bridge and looked out across the water.

 Someone wrote something with rocks out in a sand bar...I {heart} MI is about all I can make out.

 This church also fueled my imagination. Can you imagine the things that go in inside of it?! Look at that shuttered window and the crosses on the top and tell me that you can't see ghosts looking out from their haunted perch above the world.....Uh-huh..

 It was such a fun trip...it really spared my imagination and was so wonderful to get out of the city and to a different kind of life. This is why I love to travel!

A Trip to Mackinac Island

 

I don't know of anyone who really enjoys a good butt rub but I guess it goes well on meat.  This sign was in a window I saw on a recent vacation to Michigan and Macinac Island. Besides all the butt rubbing there were a lot of fun things to see and do!

If you've never been to the island, you have to cross a bridge (above) and ferry across. We've been coming here as a kid and I STILL imagine myself as a mermaid swimming across, competing with the ferries like dolphins do with ships.

 

This is my private boat I keep up here... I wish!

 I love imagining all the characters that could live in houses like these..

What a spectacular view!

The fort. It's like boy scout central here and they see to it the flags are properly raised and lowered. Well done, lads.

There are no cars on the island which is why I love it so much (that and the FUDGE). So you can literally breath in the fresh air and get great exercise. The only down side is...

{insert picture of smelly horse manure splattered across the road}
Yeah. Watch out for that!

So we set off on our bikes to explore!

I LOVE LOVE the greenery

The Grand Hotel. If you've seen Somewhere in Time, this is where they filmed it. It costs $10 per person just to walk into the place and look around! So we love picnicking on the grounds and playing croquet and bocce ball. I always feel like Edith Wharton here vacationing at a hotel where your baggage is brought up by horses and wagons.

This fountain was pretty, a little ways off on the grounds. Hmm I feel a spontaneous poem coming on..

An ode to a Beautiful Font:
You're pretty and bubbly
Though not very cuddly
I'd love to dive into your waters
"No swimming" you say
Uh, I didn't want to anyway!
This poem is quite simply, fodder

 

We stopped by a little art gallery filled with beautiful art. But the asking price for 6 x 6 oils started at $350-$500 for the plainer ones. Does that seem a little hefty to anyone else?

Phew! The tour stops here for the day, I hope you've enjoyed the journey. There'll be more tomorrow if you're so inclined to stop in again! :)

Sunday Scribblings # 277 Distant

When I think of distant, I think of distant hearts. Cousins of the lonely hearts, they have someone to call their own but their hearts just aren't in it. Day and night they yearn for more while their "beloved" sleeps beside them. On the phone they lie to their girlfriend or boyfriend keeping the stolen kiss that should never of happened buried deep inside them. Distant hearts, oh wicked hearts, why can't you be happy with what you've got? Then sun is shining, the earth is green and all the world is singing with the happy hearts who've found their mates. Black hearts, you foolish hearts why don't you try a little harder and forget yourselves in favor of another. Another heart that beats to the tune of loneliness as it's kept shut out from yours. "It's not good enough, not strong enough, it never gives me what I need." So caught up in your own wants, your selfish needs that you forget your heart isn't the only heart trying to feel love. Cast off your selfish disdain your brawling love oh loving hate and open your distant heart. Bring it back from the island of misunderstood and forge the bridge to inside it. I bet you'll see once it's been done that life is so much more worth living, than the distant hearts that cry for more and bury deep inside them.

Writing Inspiration

Read, read, read. Read everything—trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the most. Read! You'll absorb it. Then write. If it is good, you'll find out. If it's not, throw it out the window."
William Faulkner

"Only write from your own passion, your own truth. That's the only thing you really know about, and anything else leads you away from the pulse."
Marianne Williamson

 Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
Mark Twain

Close the door. Write with no one looking over your shoulder. Don't try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It's the one and only thing you have to offer."
Barbara Kingsolver

Write while the heat is in you. The writer who postpones the recording of his thoughts uses an iron which has cooled to burn a hole with. He cannot inflame the minds of his audience.Henry David Thoreau

You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you've got something to say

F. Scott Fitzgerald

Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light.Joseph Pulitzer

Picture sources:Peace Love Bella Vita.blogspot.com

Date a Girl Who Reads

"Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads."

— Rosemary Urquico

The "Firsts" Do's and Don'ts

     a theater up in Grayling, MI

        I'm not the world's best expert on do's and don'ts. But like anyone who reads and writes a lot, you start to get to know what works and what doesn't. Like I mentioned yesterday, there is so much riding on those "firsts". The first sentence, page, chapter etc..it can be overwhelming to try to do everything that will be required from those pages. It doesn't help that we have so many awesome firsts to follow behind:

        Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. - Leo Tolstoy

        Somewhere in la Mancha, in a place whose name I do not care to remember, a gentleman lived not long ago, one of those who has a lance and ancient shield on a shelf and keeps a skinny nag and a greyhound for racing. - Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote

        Call me Ishmael. - Herman Melville, Moby-Dick 

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. - Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice (1813)

and of course...

        It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair. - Charles Dickens

        I love picking up a book to read the first few pages and the next conscience thought is "oh woah, I'm on page fifteen?!" That's when you know an author has done something right. A few things right. I'm trying really hard to get that flow in my first chapter so mentally I've gone through the basic do's and dont's so I thought I'd post them here:

      Do's: What does a first page, first chapter need?

-Do let your reader know what the rest of the book is about. Set the tone, style, is it a horror? a romance? what is going to be the main conflict? I once wrote a story about a ghost and there was no mention of anything ghostly for the first half of the book. Not great.

-Do introduce your main players the first chapter. Not all of them, of course, but give us an idea who the starting line up is.

-Do establish a point of view (pov) right off the bat and the general rule is to then stay with this style throughout the rest of your book. Decide if you're going to tell the story through different points of view, first person limited, third person, are you altering between first and third person (usually not recommended).The Harry Potter series was told in third person limited for much of the seven novels but switches to omniscient from time to time and if you're going to do something like this, keep it in line with chapter boundaries, do not change pov in the middle of a scene.

-Do establish readers trust. They want to know that the storyline will take them somewhere, that the foreshadowing and conflict build up will lead them somewhere. They want to feel satisfied, curious, haunted, sad, SOMETHING so show them what you can do. I hate putting down a book that looked so promising only to peter out after a few chapters.

-Do pull the reader into the world suddenly with a quick action starting scene or slowly entice them down the slippery slope to the world you've created. Either way, it's best to stay behind the scenes as much as possible and keep every evidence that there is an author present unseen.

    Don'ts: Things to be Wary of:

-Don't load for first chapter with back story it strangles a good storyline. I'd say 60% if not more of what I write in these beginning drafts will either never be used and will only enhance my knowledge of the character to better portray him or her or I will find a better, more concise way of adding those details little at a time.


-Don't don't start a novel with the hero/herione waking up, recounting his dream and then getting up and looking in the mirror to show what he looks like. Argh! No! bad!I also hate reading a book where the first character I get to know gets killed off right away.

-Don't start with a lengthy dialogue sequence. One, unless you're Hemingway, it's usually boring because we have no idea who these characters are. Two, many times writer's who do this don't include a setting or environment descriptors so for all we know these characters are just hanging in the air somewhere. Of course you can start with dialogue and it can work really well. But there is a right way to do it.

-Don't start too early. When does your story actually start? Is it when the murder is taking place? Or is it the next morning when your main characters are coming upon the scene? Or is that after noon when your main character is in the autopsy room and gets a mysterious phone call about the murder the night before? The best starts I've ever read are those that plop you down right in the middle of an ordinary day, right in the middle of what's going on.


Can you think of any other do's or don'ts?

Self-edit-itis

              
                     Brainstorming is my favorite part of writing. ::blows a kiss to the imaginary brainstorming god:: I've spent the better part of this month and last lost in the fantasy world where anything is possible, free from the restraints of drafting. However, agents don't accept queries based on a terrific bubble chart no matter how many good ideas are floating throughout it.Unfortunately. I know it's time to start the drafting process and I've have started about a hundred times but I just can't stop self-editing. Does this plague you, too?

   So much is riding on those first few pages..an agent will either request more or deny you, readers will either keep or return your book to the shelf, everything one needs to know about the tone, style, and writing ability is in those first few pages.

Here is the state of my first chapter:

It's a mess! For the life of me I cannot sit at a computer and type out something neat and orderly. It's chicken scratch for me until I get it right but that's how I work. Of course, the irony is that by the time the exploratory draft is complete my story has changed so much I'm going to chuck the first chapter and re-write it. The plus side is that I learn a lot about my novel in these re-writes, which is the big idea behind drafting besides drawing out the storyline.

I have diagnosed myself and if you're struggling with the same thing, chances are that you're suffering from self-edit-itis more informally known as why-is-it-taking-me-three-hours-to-write-one-freaking-page-where's-my-inspiration!? Do not fear, it plagues the best of writers (so I hear). DRAFTING is the best medicine and should be taken in large quantities; you CAN take more than six times in a 24-hour period however you also need to leave your desk and actually, ya know, have a life (again, so I hear).

Tomorrow I'll post my personal list of do's and don't of the "firsts" page, chapter etc..until then, I'd love your input. How do you combat Self-edit-itis? How do you settle down and start the drafting process? 

Another reason we like Alan Rickman

"It is an ancient need to be told stories. But the story needs a great storyteller..."

The Right Way to Build Author Loyalty

Amazing photo by David Olsson

                   Last week Nathan Bransford posted what was supposed to be a humorous pitch about his book only to be booed by many faithful followers.It always amazes me how many nay-sayers there are in an industry that depends on networking and loyalty. And yet if I stop to think about it, what people are more volatile, passionate and willing to voice our opinion than writers! I just hate to see it happen to someone whose given us so much.

              If you've read his blog (do it. You'll be better for it.) then you know the state of the publishing industry these days and how vitally needful self-promotion is. This is nothing new of course, but with blogging, facebook and twitter, readers are expecting more from authors than ever before. What authors are failing to recognize is what really snags a reader into buying their book and why they can't follow the same methods that the big names do.

              Selling a book is as much about selling yourself as your work. Whenever I read any hype about a book I am most curious about the author first. I look up his/her blog and in the first few minutes I either have seen enough to know I'm not interested in the book, jot down the title to see if it's in the library or know this is a blog I'll be adding to my bookmarks and will buy the book. With authors like James Patterson, Mary Higgins Clark, Josh Grisham, even Amanda Hocking now, I already know all about them, they are too big to get to know personally so I am not offended when their blog consists mostly of reviews, interviews, where their book is sold and their tour information. Their books have garnered enough attention for me to form a bias about them that will either cause me to buy their book hot off the press or know I can just click past their latest advertisement and onto something else. But when you're a fledgling hopeful or newer author you can't play that game. 

                  What makes me want to buy a book is not how many times the title can be squeezed into each post, how available the links are to purchase it or flagrant "buy me" posts. There are subtler ways to enhancing readers that also build author loyalty which is really the goal of self-promotion. (Remember, I'm not talking about authors who already have an established reader base and many books already on the market). Many of these ways don't involve pushing the book at all. The books I’ve bought from reading author blogs are all because I felt I was friends with the author and wanted to support him/her, photos of their publicity tour made me feel like the book was worth buying and reading reviews on OTHER blogs (like the authors' friends or crit partners) saying how good the book was. It was months before I bought Kiersten White's Paranormalcy because I didn't read YA at the time but after reading her blog everyday (seeing "Paranormalcy" all the time and growing loyal to her as an author) and seeing the hype other author friends were giving the book I finally had to go out and do it. (It was as good as they said!).

                   Many of these sources of self-promotion were in posts but not the main topic and links to buy the book or find reviews are on the side bars not the center. People read author blogs to find out more about an author, to gain advice, to see what the book is about before buying it. If we like it, we’ll find reviews, other work they've published, and the cheapest site to buy the book on our own. The trick is to make us want to find it by engaging our loyalty, our interest in their writing style or there is so much hype from other sources about the book we have to buy it. 

                  Does this mean that as an author you should never put a "You can buy this at amazon here" or "I'm so excited my book is coming out in __ days!" No. A little of that never hurt anybody and of course you should make your readers aware of what's going on with your book and where to buy it. It's just my personal opinion that authors can be more subtle than they think they have to be. When Nathan's book first came out I knew I'd want to buy it because I felt loyalty to him for all he's given me from his blog and I wanted to give something back. And I knew he would be a good writer from reading his blog. Maybe this kind of thinking is just me..in which case thank you for reading purely opinionated post thus far you poor soul :)

                   Many aspiring authors want to help fellow writers but no one likes feeling pressure to do so. If you write well, have a good following of people who are rooting for YOU, and make them feel a part of what you’re doing then you don’t ever have to feel bad for self-promotion, it will happen on it’s own.

Do you agree? Or am I way off base?

Sunday Scribblings # 276

She was skinny with knee-high socks and peaches and cream skin with an unconscious habit of pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose whenever she was excited. To him, she was everything good from the world and life he had lost when he'd died and seeing her was a breath of air his lungs could not manufacture on their own anymore. He liked to think that he was the only one who could see her this way but the truth was that her arrival in Kingsbury had stirred up the public and there were many others captivated-obsessed really-with her but nobody knew why.

"I'm just a girl," Wellsley told him once, frustrated with the scrutiny and heckling from other classmates and strangers.

"Not to them,"he said, "Not to me."

At that she had smiled. It was rare for him to see her smile, she was so shy and given so much attention out in public that he could see it bow down her small shoulders at times. Amongst the whispering he heard the name of her father, of the scandal that had shocked their society and the child that had lived as a result of his actions. While there were no marks to make her different she simply was, and he could sense it as could everyone else. She created a ripple effect wherever she walked. That was when he devised a plan. It was simple in theory to carry out despite the hullabaloo put up by the government and school officials; the Phantom District on the edge of town was strictly prohibited to the living. Too many people had ventured inside only to return severely damaged or never at all. But so confident in his own ability, so lost in his feelings for her that he was willing to risk it. Besides, he had lived there for seventy-five years, what could possibly happen with him by her side?

"I'm not afraid," she'd said in the moonlight gripping his hand tighter as they ran through the fencing, past pubs, boarded up houses and other nooks and crannies occupied by the dead. His place was on the far side of town in a dilapidated stone mansion nestled between larger, grander monstrosities also aged with time.It had been a ballroom at one time but he had moved in a canopy bed and mirrors and paintings into the corner near the large fireplace. 
"It's a little out dated I know," he said feeling suddenly nerve-wracked for her opinion.
"It's perfect," she said falling back onto the bed with her arms out wide as he lowered the shades and lit the lanterns. In the Phantom District there was no electricity for reasons not so obscure as to be imagined.
He watched her touch his dresser-empty-, the nubs of broken candles and books stacked in piles around the bursting shelves, wishing he was one of those books caressed by her hands, pressed to her nose and held tightly to her chest.

On Vacation and LOVING IT. Ahh, there is nothing like being at home. I've brought out my writing binder and have gotten such good feedback from my sisters on some of the particulars. Having a network of people who are either in the writing/publishing business and/or are avid readers and therefore know what they (and you) are talking about is so essential as a writer. It's such a solitary business 90% of the time that moral support, another's perspective and a pat on the back are always needed.

That's about all I can post right now, my brain is in relax mode and I'm soaking in my family and all the fun we are having. Get outside! Bring your manuscript and a blanket and a snack and work outdoors! It will do wonders for your creativity..

Be back soon!

Combadges and Holodecks

It amazes me when I see people living their lives exactly how they want to especially when they've left the beaten path and gone on to forge their own instead. It's inspiring. I love to see people being true to themselves with no apologies and acceptance (at least most of the time) of who they are. Again, so inspiring. It's a hard road no doubt but isn't life fuller, richer, deeper, more vast, more exciting, more real, when you're being honest with yourself?

Why do we try so hard to be these people that we're not?

Today I was at a used book store and I spent an hour wandering around looking in the Sci-fi and fiction and YA sections with an old grandpa in running shorts (we're talking marathon short) and a tank top and a scary looking dude drinking a monster energy drink and asking where the horror section was. And then there was me. Of course I had a ginormous stroller and baby who wouldn't stay in it so it took an embarrassing 30 seconds to get out the door while everyone watched me shoving and twisting that thing through this door that wouldn't open all the way trying to balance a babe on my hip and a stack of book and a purse in my other arm....I looked foolish. It was clumsy. It was un-cool. But as I walked to the car I thought, that's me.

Tonight we went to a bbq dinner party with some acquaintances and I found myself sitting alone while other people chatted around me. The conversations were about R-rated movies (which I don't watch because everything is too real to me) reality tv (which I also don't watch because it's stupid and a brain drain), and work inside jokes I didn't know about. No one read the NYTimes, Nathan Bransford, Vanity Fair even! No one was talking music or literature or good politics or traveling abroad...I spent the first half  of the evening internally beating myself up for not being more pro-chatting, inserting myself in others' conversations instead of waiting for them in include me, and doing all the points I've read in magazines about "How to Be an Interesting Person". I tried. But that's not me. I'm shy, I'm a homebody. As many writers/readers, I longed for a quiet corner and a book and some good music in the background.

These two situations really hit home on what I should have realized in high school and even college. It's time to STOP TRYING TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT.

This is why I want to write books for YA. Because you guys are the next generation and everyone out there is trying to tell you to be somebody you're not. It's time to BE YOURSELF. I'm just learning how to myself but tonight I feel free. I'm sure there will be more lonely nights in a crowd full of people but I'd rather be me, be lost in my imaginary worlds and characters, stumbling around old, used bookstores and dreaming of the day my published words might find their way into someone else's heart.